The Forgotten People Fund

 A charity registered in Israel # 58-032-322-8

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1 BAR MITZVAH X 15 by Steve Kramer

There's a big contrast between most bar/bat mitzvah celebrations in America and those in Israel. Movies have been made about over-the-top "theme" parties in the US, with models, celebrities, and famous entertainers overshadowing the true significance of the event. Obviously, those parties are not the norm, and there are probably a few similar ones here in Israel each year (that I'm not invited to). But our celebrations are generally modest affairs with a simple ceremony in the synagogue on a morning when the Torah is read and a separate party at a convenient time for the guests. Some American families choose to forego a stupendous affair and bring their celebration to Israel, incorporating the ceremony into the context of Jerusalem and other areas of our land, the true center of Jewish existence.

The Miller family (not their real name) live in an upscale Connecticut community with their three children. Knock-out bar mitzvah extravaganzas aren't uncommon in their neighborhood. But when it came time to plan their oldest son Henry's bar mitzvah, the Millers wanted something more. That's where the Forgotten People Fund [www.fpf.org.il] came in. FPF is an example of the kind of grass-roots charity that Israelis specialize in. With a totally volunteer workforce, FPF is able to service many of the needs of the large Ethiopian community in Netanya with an overhead of only 1%. FPF raises funds to help pay for necessities like school fees and books, summer camp, clothing, scholarships, dental and special medication costs, vitamins, bus cards, food vouchers, utility bills, and taxes. It also pays for pro-active programs like nutrition seminars, pre-army courses, support for soldiers, cultural exchanges, seniors' activities, and academic and social activities for kids.

One of FPF's most significant programs is providing bar and bat mitzvah experiences for Ethiopian families who would otherwise be unable to provide them. The Millers, along with their obviously mature son Henry, decided that he would share his good fortune with 15 young men in far-off Israel, expanding his bar mitzvah into an experience that they and the Ethiopian families will never forget. FPF was able to find an appropriate religious junior high in Netanya to work with the Millers, who provided a dedicated computer to the school with which the boys and Henry could talk (via Skype) in the months leading up to the celebration. Arranging all this was not a simple proposition, but FPF and the family's liaison in Israel were able to bring off the affair in a fabulously successful manner.

Mid-morning on June 12, the Millers and their three children arrived at the Shapira school in the Dora neighborhood of Netanya, which has a large population of Ethiopian and other recent immigrant children. The students had already participated in their daily morning prayers before school began. The 15 boys, all attired in new clothes and sports shoes purchased through the FPF for the occasion, participated with the Millers in an English-language word game to break the ice. A translator was on hand to help when translation from Hebrew was required. After that we all went upstairs to the auditorium where the entire junior high school population was gathered to enjoy the program. There were a few speeches by the principal and the school rabbi, and then a performance by the school's female singing troupe. After that, two professional musicians brought enough conga drums onto the stage for all of the bar mitzvah boys, including Henry, to bang on during several musical numbers. The Millers then presented each of the boys with a tefillin set and prayer book. We went back downstairs to enjoy some canapes and drinks and to greet the boys and their families.

Understandably, all the boys were a bit shy with Henry and his family. But in the evening, at the FPF-organized party in an ocean-side restaurant, all that stiffness evaporated. There were about 150 guests, including the boys and their families, teachers, some other Shapira students, and some of us FPF supporters who paid our own way. The disc jockey kept the music going and the wait staff kept bringing out platters of food. After a short while the dancing began and things really began to loosen up. A student choir entertained us between courses and the dance floor became more crowded, with the teachers, the parents, the Millers, and the kids all joining in. There was a loud and long "Hava Nagila" with each and every bar mitzvah boy being hoisted on a chair and gyrated up and down. Some even got two chair rides. A professional hip-hop dancer led the kids in learning some of his convoluted steps as the temperature on the dance floor rose. Next, along with couples dancing to an African beat, a line of young and old dancers snaked around the floor amidst the tables, accompanied by much bumping and laughing. Before dessert was served, the Millers had the pleasure of distributing gift packages to all the boys, which included MP3 players and other goodies.

Feeling the warm fellowship and camaraderie that was evident that evening was really enjoyable. Everyone participated as equals, though we were Jews from very disparate backgrounds and economic circumstances. All could feel the obvious pleasure everyone was having. As for the Millers, they couldn't have created a more special event for Henry and the family no matter the cost. The joy that they brought to their own children and to 15 others who couldn't have dreamed of having this kind of party is unequaled.

Afterwards, Sue Miller told Anne Silverman, co-founder and head of FPF, how greatly affected she was by the entire affair. Sue plans to maintain her relationship with FPF and vows that Henry's experience will be replicated by others in their community. In addition, she plans to interest her friends in joining the Adopt-a-Family program, which provides for the assistance that a specific family requires during the year and allows the donors to be kept abreast of how their donation is being spent. Without a doubt, the Millers and the FPF produced a win-win proposition for everyone involved: the school, the bar mitzvah boys and their families, and the Miller family themselves. And what was the theme of Henry's bar mitzvah? To multiply the impact of his bar mitzvah 15 times over, once for each of the young men and their families from Netanya.